once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory
You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone
go big or go home
SO LAST NIGHT AT DINNER MY 11 YEAR OLD BROTHER RANDOMLY SAID “IS IT ‘OPEN SESAME’ OR ‘OPEN SAYS ME’” AND I AM REALLY CONTEMPLATING THE MEANING OF LIFE RIGHT NOW EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE
STOP RUINING MY LIFE
i want to be comfortable
in my own skin
and safe enough
to let love in
BECAUSE IT WAS MADE OUT OF FREEDOM AND THE DREAMS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
uh excuse me wasn’t it adamantium
no it’s vibranium
you mean FREEDOMIUM
Aren’t wolverine’s bones made of adamantium?
No, Wolverine’s bones are made of crystalized maple syrup and universal health care.
now my favourite post on tumblr